It should come as no surprise that preparing an obituary for someone you love is one of the most important parts of the arrangement process. Not only does it provide information about the upcoming service; it acknowledges the loss of a loved one and celebrates the joy they brought us. Writing an obituary is truly a special task and one that is best approached with care and thought.
How to Write an Obituary
An obituary can be broken down into five parts, which we will expand on below:
Announcing the Death
The beginning of an obituary is an announcement to let the community know that your loved one has passed away. It should contain identifying information such as the person’s name, age, residence, and place of time and death. When you are announcing the death, the language can be expressed in a multitude of ways. “Passed away”, “ended a long battle with…”, “died”, “surrounded by family” are all common and acceptable expressions to use.
Remember to use verbiage you feel comfortable with. Some people may say that “died” is too blunt or harsh. Others feel that euphemisms like “went to be with his Lord” are too soft or tiptoeing around what has happened. In any case, listen to the input from others and use the language you feel most comfortable with.
The Biography
The biographical section of the obituary is the longest and most personal part. This is the section where you will summarize the deceased’s life. However, you do not need to recount every little detail of their life. Instead, use this section to highlight meaningful events, qualities, contributions and important connections they made while living.
Always remember that an obituary is used to celebrate important life milestones and achievements. It is not a time to brag about every accomplishment the deceased had. The deceased may have received a long list of honors during their life. However, other than the immediate family, most people will not be overly interested in reading every award or honor they received. Instead, be selective and try to encompass as many as you can in as few words as possible.
Information that should always be included in the biographical section includes the date and place of birth, parent’s names including mother’s maiden name (ex: John and JoAnne (Maiden name) Smith, date and place of marriage, birth name of spouse, education, work, and military service.
Lastly, a common thing that many obituaries often lack are the personal connections the deceased shared. Oftentimes they will summarize a person’s achievements but speak very little about the impact they had on their family, friends or the community. If they always made time to play games with their kids or their humor could always lighten the mood; make sure to express those positive impacts.
The Surviving Family
It is always important to list the surviving family members when announcing someone’s death. These are the people who others can turn to offer condolences and help comfort as they say goodbye. When you are listing the survivors in order of closest relations. The order should go as followed: spouse, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents, and siblings.
It should be noted that nieces, nephews, cousins, and in-laws are typically unmentioned unless they were especially close to the deceased. Also, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are usually numbered (“…she leaves behind 7 grandchildren”) instead of listing each person’s name.
When you are listing a relative, make sure to include their first name, their spouse’s first name in parenthesis and then their last name. It should look something like this:
“JoAnne leaves behind her children Doug (Susan) Smith, Joe (Dianne) Smith, and Sarah (Mark) Perry.”
If the spouse of the deceased has a different last name than the relative, also include their last name inside the parenthesis.
You can also list any immediate family members whose death preceded the deceased. The format should follow the same structure of the one described above.
Service Information
Near the bottom of the obituary, make sure to include information about the upcoming service. This part is often left up to the funeral director to add in once the arrangements have been completed. The essential information to include is time, date of service, location and the officiant’s name. If you are planning a visitation separate from the service, make sure to note the time, date, and location as well.
Special Messages
To conclude the obituary, it is common to offer special thanks, a short message or prayer. If your family would like to forego people sending flowers, this is when you would say something like “in lieu of flowers, the family asks that you make a donation to…”.
Examples of Obituaries
Even with the template provided above, obituaries can be written in many different styles and tones. From traditional posts to humorous ones to ones with unusual requests, the possibilities are endless.
Here is a selection of some of our favorite obituaries.
Donna Smith
Donna Smith 1941 ~ 2014 Donna Monteen Smith, age 73, passed away peacefully December 17, 2014, due to diabetes and congestive heart failure. She was born March 2, 1941, in Ooltewah, Tennessee to Carl and Annie Lynn. She eloped and married her longtime friend and love, James Nathaniel Smith, in October of 1960 who preceded her in death in 1994. Donna loved to love on people. She sewed dolls and little quilted sayings constantly. Her hands were rarely still. Raggedy Annes and Andies were her favorites. She also shared her love with food such as fresh cut fries for her grandsons, lasagna and real fried chicken. For many years Donna worked at Atria/Crosslands Retirement Community in Sandy. It suited her servant heart. She said she did it because of a promise she made to her grandpa, Thomas Bush. He used to always say: "Do whats right and do whats good. Be kind and help others. the world can always use one more kind person. And if you can take it one step further, please do it for people grandpas age." Her life was a living example of her favorite Bible verse, Ephesians 4:32 - " And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ." Donna is survived by her brother and wife Tommy and Carolyn Lynn, sister and husband Mary and Vitali Abazade; sister in law, Juanita Cooper; her three sons and their wives Allen and Theresa Smith, Jamie and Heather Smith, and Randy Smith; grandchildren and her many nephews and nieces. All of these she loved and touched deeply. Please join us celebrating her life Saturday morning December 20, 2014, between 10:00 a.m. - 12 noon at Goff Mortuary, 8090 S State St, Midvale. In Lieu of flowers, donations may be made to her grandsons' charity for wounded veterans at www.camppatriot.org www.goffmortuary.
B.H. Spratt
SPRATT B. H. Spratt, 86, of Ponte Vedra Beach, FL passed away Tuesday, October 18, 2011 in Jacksonville, FL. He was born to Hugh and Florance Spratt on December 21, 1924 in Walters, OK. He formerly owned and operated Jack Spratt Exxon and will be remembered as B. H. Jack Spratt, a guy who could fix anything. Mr. Spratt is survived by his beloved wife of 63 years, Mary H. Spratt; son, Michael Spratt; daughter, Jackie Spratt; and four grandchildren: Sara, Austin, Avery, and Aidan. In lieu of flowers, tune-up your car and check the air pressure in your tires - he would have wanted that. Please sign the family's online guestbook at www.adignifiedalternative.net Cremation arrangements by A Dignified Alternative-Hatcher Cremations, 3063 Hartley Road, Suite 7, Jacksonville, FL 32257 (904) 260-2522 Please Sign the Guestbook @ Jacksonville.com
Patricia M. Strong
AUBURN - Tacey L. Plante describes her late mother, Patricia M Shong, as a rather mild-mannered woman.
But is she ever hear anyone speaking badly of New England Patriots' quarterback Tom Brady, that person would have likely gotten an earful from Mrs. Shong. Plante said.
Up until her death on Monday, the 72-year-old town resident staunchly defended Brady against accusations that he had a role in deflating of footballs used for the AFC championship game against the Indianapolis Colts.
Even in death, Mrs. Shong continued to proclaim his innocence.
In her obituary that appeared in Thursday's Telegram & Gazette, her family wrote:
"She would also like us to set the record straight for her; Brady is innocent!"
"That's who my mother was," said Mrs. Plante, who lives in Fuquay-Varina North Carolina. "She was a big Patriots fan and it was something that defined her. She was very, much a homebody and she always watched the Patriots on Television.
"She always thought Tom Brady was the bomb," she added. "Brady could do no wrong in my mother's eye and she certainly felt there was no way he could have done anything like he has been accused of doing. she was always constantly defending the man."
When it came time to write her mothers obituary, Mrs, Plante said, she, her siblings and father felt it was only appropriate to have Mrs. Shong make one last public defense of the Patriots' quarterback.
"We wanted to include in her obituary that she was a big Patriots fan, but my brother, Michael, thought we should also say something that she believed in and that was that Brady was innocent," Mrs. Plante said in a telephone interview. "We didn't know what we were in for when we brought (the obituary) to the funeral home. They asked us if we really wanted that in her obituary, but my brother said it absolutely had to stay
Here to Assist You
If you need any help with writing an obituary, one of our caring and experienced funeral directors would be happy to assist you. Over our many years of service, we have helped a countless number of families pen the perfect tribute to their loved one. Whether it’s assisting with writing an obituary or simply having a conversation to get your ideas flowing, we can help you write the perfect obituary.
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Sources:
- *Obituaries sourced from Genealogy Bank
