Funny Wedding Vows Guaranteed to Make Your Guests Smile (2022)

Calling all comedic couples.

Writing your wedding vows can be an overwhelming task. Often, couples choose to write serious, sentimental vows to each other. But if that just doesn't sound right for you and your partner, consider writing funny wedding vows. Not only will they make your S.O. smile, they'll make your guests laugh out loud too. Of course, you'll want to make sure that it's tastefully done (remember: it's your wedding day, not a comedy show). The focus of the vows should be declaring your love for your partner, and making guests LOL should be an added bonus. And remember that you don't have to incorporate funny wedding vows into your ceremony if that isn't authentic to your and your partner. But if you're always joking around with each other, it might be appropriate to incorporate a humorous line or two.

READ MORE13 Sentimental Wedding First Look Alternatives
READ MORE13 Sentimental Wedding First Look Alternatives

If you're looking for inspiration, we've rounded up a few of our favorite funny wedding vow examples as well as humorous quotes from movies, television shows and books. Browse our curated selections and then add them into your own vows to get your guests giggling.

Funny Wedding Vows Examples

"I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome."

"You and I just work together - and I love how you always finish my.... .... sentences... it's sentences."

"I vow to thrill you each day—to amaze and astonish you. Did I mention all the magic tricks I am learning?"

(Video) Funniest Wedding Vows EVER

"I vow to somehow get to the end of this thing without ugly crying. I hope I can keep that one!"

"I love you, truly, madly, deeply... and I was thinking—maybe we should get married."

"I promise not to watch the next episode without you."

"We look pretty good. What is it we're all dressed up for?"

"I vow to always let you have the last blueberry pancake."

"As the wise Salt n Pepa said, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man."

Funny Wedding Vows for Him

"I promise to unclog the drain, even though you're the only one of us who has long hair."

"I vow to get a professional even though I really want to try to do it myself first."

"I vow to protect you from spiders as long as we both shall live."

(Video) These wedding vows that will make you laugh!

"I promise to take Instagram-worthy photos of you."

Funny Wedding Vows for Her

"I promise to turn on the air conditioning when you're hot—even if I'm totally freezing."

"I promise not to force you to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon."

"I'm so happy I accepted your rose."

"I vow to love you even when you're old and still playing Xbox"

Funny Wedding Vows From Movies

"I love that you get cold when it's seventy-one degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night."
-When Harry Met Sally

"I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, to agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home."
-The Vow

"She is the only evidence of God I have seen with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry."
- St. Elmo's Fire

FOR YOU

The Best Wedding Vow Examples From Real CouplesLooking to pen your own wedding vows? Let these examples—from funny to romantic—inspire you. How to Write a Best Man Speech Like a ProWrite and deliver an awesome best man speech with this foolproof advice.
(Video) NEW FUNNY Wedding Vows Compilation! Try Not To Laugh!

"Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind."
-27 Dresses

"You're the best thing I never knew I needed."
-The Princess and the Frog

"He is the cheese to my macaroni."
-Juno

"You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey, that's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon."
-It's a Wonderful Life

"We finish each other's…."
"Sandwiches"
-Frozen

Funny Wedding Vows From Television Shows

"To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running—ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever."
-Grey's Anatomy

"You are the most awesome person I have ever known in my entire life. I vow to protect you from danger. And I don't care if I have to fight an ultimate fighter, or a bear, or him (points to a random guest), or your mom. I would take them down. I'm getting mad right now even telling you. I wanna spend the rest of my life, every minute, with you, and I am the luckiest man in the galaxy."
-Parks and Rec

(Video) The funniest wedding vow ❤️😅

"You're my lobster"
-Friends

"But love doesn't make sense! I mean, you can't logic your way in or out of it. Love is totally non-sensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we're lost, and love is dead, and humanity just packed in. Because love is the best thing we do."
-How I Met Your Mother

"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous."
-Sex and the City

Funny Wedding Vow Quotes From Books

"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough."
-The Notebook

"I love you. Okay? Want it louder? I love you. Spell it out, should I? I ell-oh-vee-ee why-oh-you. Want it backward? You love I."
-The Princess Bride

"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labour has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."
-The Fault in Our Stars

"If my like for you was a football crowd, you'd be deaf 'cause of the roar. And if my like for you was a boxer, there'd be a dead guy lying on the floor. And if my like for you was sugar, you'd lose your teeth before you were twenty. And if my like for you was money, let's just say you'd be spending plenty."
-Graffiti Moon

"Yes, I need you, my fairy-tale. Because you are the only person I can talk with about the shade of a cloud, about the song of a thought — and about how, when I went out to work today and looked a tall sunflower in the face, it smiled at me with all of its seeds."
-Letters to Vera

(Video) My Waffle Wedded Wife

FAQs

What is the best wedding vows you ever heard? ›

Sweet Wedding Vows
  • “I promise to never lose our spark and to always do the little things to make you happy.”
  • “I will always love you no matter what.”
  • “I promise to always make you laugh and to laugh together.”
  • “I vow that we will be a family forever.”
  • “I could never get bored when I'm with you.”

What are some simple wedding vows? ›

"I, _____, take you, _____, to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always."

What are short vows? ›

Short wedding vows for her

I pledge to honor you, love you, and cherish you as my husband today and every day. Today I say, "I do" but to me that means, "I will." I will take your hand and stand by your side in the good and the bad. I dedicate myself to your happiness, success, and smile. I will love you forever.

What are the 7 promises of marriage? ›

7 Vows Of Marriage: 1st Phera Signifies – Nourishment
  • Groom: “Om Esha Ekapadi Bhava Iti Prathaman”
  • Bride: “Dhanam Dhanyam Pade Vadet”
  • Groom: “Om Oorje Jara Dastayaha”
  • Bride: “Kutumburn Rakshayishyammi Sa Aravindharam”
  • Groom: “Om Rayas Santu Joraa Dastayaha”
  • Bride: “Tava Bhakti as Vadedvachacha”
7 Jun 2022

What should you not say in a wedding vow? ›

9 Things You Should Never Include in Your Wedding Vows
  • #1: Do Not Include Gross Words… ...
  • #2: Do Not Mention Exes. ...
  • #3: Do Not Joke Too Much. ...
  • #4: Do Not Highlight Your Partner's Weaknesses or Vulnerabilities. ...
  • #5: Do Not Talk About Sex. ...
  • #6: Do Not Mention Your Divorce. ...
  • #7: Do Not Include Random Quotes.
17 Aug 2020

How do you write vows to make him cry? ›

Emotional Wedding Vows To Make Him Cry
  1. They say fairytales are overrated, and I believe them. I mean, is there even a happily ever after? Who knows? ...
  2. You make me want to be a better person. With you, I feel safer than ever. I have never liked a voice as much as I like yours, and I wish to wake up to it every day.
6 days ago

How do you make your vows emotional? ›

It may sound counterintuitive to include humor into your vows if your goal is to make people cry. But, the key to having emotionally impactful vows is to balance all of those serious and romantic thoughts with some levity. Find the right moments to rhythmically bob from a sentimental phrase to a funny line.

How do you write a meaningful vow? ›

How to Write Wedding Vows Step by Step
  1. Start with a statement about who this person is to you. ...
  2. Continue by saying what it is you love about your partner. ...
  3. Use a story to bring this love to life. ...
  4. Lay out exactly what it is you are promising. ...
  5. Use romantic wedding vows to personalize your promise.
20 May 2022

How do you end a vow? ›

The last sentence in your original wedding vows should be one last promise to always be the one. It's the big finish, so make sure you make this last sentence count. Examples: You are the love of my life and I promise to adore you, cherish you and respect you for all the days of my life.”

What are the 3 marriage vows? ›

"I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always."

What is shortest wedding vow? ›

"I (name) take thee, (name), to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love and cherish, from this day forward until death do us part. With this ring, I thee wed."

What are modern marriage vows? ›

Today, I take my place as your husband/wife. May our days be long, and may they be seasoned with faith, love, understanding, and respect, forever and ever. Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives. I choose to spend today, and all of my tomorrows, with you.

What does TO HAVE AND TO HOLD mean? ›

to possess legally; have permanent possession of. The house, with the mortgage finally paid, was at last their own to have and to hold.

Who goes first in wedding vows? ›

In a traditional wedding ceremony order, the vows are followed by the ring exchange. The groom usually goes first, though we invite you to be progressive. He puts the wedding band on the bride's finger while repeating a phrase like, “I give this ring as a sign of my love.” Then, it's the bride's turn.

What do you promise in your vows? ›

I promise to always put God first in our marriage.” ”I promise to be honest and faithful.” “I promise to always put our love first.” “I promise to choose adventure over tradition and to walk with you instead of alone.”

How many words should wedding vows be? ›

Aim to write between 390 to 650 words. This is three to five minutes in speaking length. Keeping the word count around this length will ensure that your vows are concise, articulate, and will keep the guests engaged.

What is the best promise for wife? ›

I promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for I know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. I choose you. I'll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without doubt, I'll keep choosing you.

What do you promise in marriage? ›

To love, cherish and respect one another. To stay together for life. To share happiness and laughter. To be kind, trusting, tolerant and understanding.

What is the meaning of 7 steps in marriage? ›

Saptapadi- The Seven Steps

The Saptapadi involves the couple walking seven steps in a clockwise direction around the Angi near the Mandap. Each of the steps is called a 'Phere', and each Phere stands for the seven promises and principles made by the couple to each other during the exchange of vows.

Do you have to memorize wedding vows? ›

Once written, read through your vows out loud several times. You don't need to memorize them, but you should get comfortable. Reading the vows out loud will give you a sense of whether or not it sounds natural and if you should edit anything.

Is there a wrong way to write vows? ›

There is no 'wrong' way to write your vows – whatever special words pour out of your heart and onto the paper will be flawless. However, there are ways to break through the writer's block and uncover the gems of your relationship, ready to share with all your loved ones.

Can you use a quote in your vows? ›

You only want to use one, maximum two, quotes in your wedding vows. They should complement your own words rather than act as a substitute for your personal insights and promises. Write your speech first, then see if a quote can add extra poignancy or, if you want, humour.

How do you write men's wedding vows? ›

Wedding Vows for Him Outline
  1. Step 1: Set the Scene. Begin your vows by setting the scene. ...
  2. Step 2: Communicate Details about Your Fiancé Next, note details about what you admire about your fiancé. ...
  3. Step 3: Communicate Details About Your Relationship. ...
  4. Step 4: List Your Promises. ...
  5. Step 5: Close with a Love Note.
21 Jun 2019

Who said first vows? ›

Why? Traditionally, the groom would say his vows first, followed by the bride, according to Nathan. However, there are no rules for that wedding tradition, and many couples now choose other ways to determine who goes first, particularly at LGBTQIA+ and nondenominational weddings.

How many vows should you have? ›

Finally include no more than six promises, according to Pushkine, and agree on how fun or serious you want your vows to be.

What are vows in the Bible? ›

The practice of making vows or solemn promises to God deliberately and freely to perform some good work was ancient among the Israelites. Ordinarily a vow consisted in a promise to offer a sacrifice, if God would give some assistance in a difficulty; hence, the Hebrew word neder means both vow and votive offering.

Do you take this man vows? ›

Exchange of Vows

Notary asks the woman, "(her name), do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in (holy) matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

How do you write a modern vow? ›

Modern Wedding Vow Template
  1. List the top three things that you love about your significant other. ...
  2. Share how they inspire you to be a better person. ...
  3. Make promises for your life together. ...
  4. Use your own favorite saying or quote. ...
  5. Incorporate your beliefs and inspiration. ...
  6. Tell them you love them.
14 Feb 2022

What are marriage virtues? ›

- Love was the most important factor for marital satisfaction for couples, followed by support, trust care, Respect, Honesty, and Friendliness. - Of moderate importance were virtues of Cheerfulness, Kindness, Maturity, Courage, Humour, Humility, and Gratitude.

How do you write non traditional wedding vows? ›

Short Non-Traditional Wedding Vows
  1. I promise to surprise you, to amaze you, to make you laugh, and to help you in your every endeavor.
  2. Dream with me, hold me, never let me go and I will be your loving wife forevermore.
  3. I've always dreamed of marrying a guy like you, and today, I get to marry the man of my dreams.
24 Jul 2019

Can you skip vows in a wedding? ›

No, you don't have to say your vows in public. Just like many other aspects of your wedding, you and your partner can decide what to include or not to include on your wedding day.

What is the fastest wedding ceremony? ›

An express marriage ceremony is the fastest way to get married at the County.

What do you say to marry a non religious couple? ›

– Bride and groom: I (bride/groom) take you, to be my husband/wife, my forever friend, confidant, and my love. I vow to honor and respect you always, and I will give you my love freely and unconditionally. I pledge this to you with all of my heart, for all the days of our lives.

Are there any marriage vows in the Bible? ›

While the Bible includes verses on love, marriage, and weddings, there aren't any specific marriage vows mentioned. You can, however, use the Bible's inspirational verses in your marriage vows, include them as ceremony readings, or use a short verse as a theme on your invitations and programs.

What does for better or for worse mean in marriage vows? ›

Instead of pulling together and supporting each other, they pull away, isolate, and keep their thoughts and feelings in. Sometimes making it through the “For Worse,” is having to, and being able to talk about the hard and uncomfortable things.

What does God say about unity in marriage? ›

“At the creation of man and woman, unity for them in marriage was not given as hope; it was a command! 'Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh' (Genesis 2:24).

What is shortest wedding vow? ›

"I (name) take thee, (name), to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love and cherish, from this day forward until death do us part. With this ring, I thee wed."

What are some romantic wedding vows? ›

I promise to love you, to be your hearth, to keep a flame alive for you in my heart.” “When you walked into my life, love walked in, too.” “I vow to love you as you love me, through all hardship, darkness, and pain to reach for our joys, our hopes, and always with honesty and faith.”

How do you write beautiful vows? ›

How to Write Wedding Vows Step by Step
  1. Start with a statement about who this person is to you. ...
  2. Continue by saying what it is you love about your partner. ...
  3. Use a story to bring this love to life. ...
  4. Lay out exactly what it is you are promising. ...
  5. Use romantic wedding vows to personalize your promise.
20 May 2022

How do you write non traditional wedding vows? ›

Short Non-Traditional Wedding Vows
  1. I promise to surprise you, to amaze you, to make you laugh, and to help you in your every endeavor.
  2. Dream with me, hold me, never let me go and I will be your loving wife forevermore.
  3. I've always dreamed of marrying a guy like you, and today, I get to marry the man of my dreams.
24 Jul 2019

How do you end a vow? ›

The last sentence in your original wedding vows should be one last promise to always be the one. It's the big finish, so make sure you make this last sentence count. Examples: You are the love of my life and I promise to adore you, cherish you and respect you for all the days of my life.”

What are the 3 marriage vows? ›

"I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always."

What are modern marriage vows? ›

Today, I take my place as your husband/wife. May our days be long, and may they be seasoned with faith, love, understanding, and respect, forever and ever. Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives. I choose to spend today, and all of my tomorrows, with you.

How do you write vows to make him cry? ›

Emotional Wedding Vows To Make Him Cry
  1. They say fairytales are overrated, and I believe them. I mean, is there even a happily ever after? Who knows? ...
  2. You make me want to be a better person. With you, I feel safer than ever. I have never liked a voice as much as I like yours, and I wish to wake up to it every day.
6 days ago

How do you make your vows emotional? ›

It may sound counterintuitive to include humor into your vows if your goal is to make people cry. But, the key to having emotionally impactful vows is to balance all of those serious and romantic thoughts with some levity. Find the right moments to rhythmically bob from a sentimental phrase to a funny line.

How do you start a wedding vow? ›

Declare your love

A pledge of love and devotion to one another should open the wedding vows. Describe the moment you fell in love with them and what they bring into your life, and tell them how much they mean to you.

How long should vows be words? ›

Aim to write between 390 to 650 words. This is three to five minutes in speaking length. Keeping the word count around this length will ensure that your vows are concise, articulate, and will keep the guests engaged.

How long should wedding vows be? ›

You should know that the average length for wedding vows should be anywhere from 45 seconds to 2 minutes. Usually traditional vows between your priest, minister, or other wedding officiant last no longer than 2 minutes, but depending on if you are having a more religious ceremony, it may be longer.

Who should say their vows first? ›

Traditionally, the groom would say his vows first, followed by the bride, according to Nathan. However, there are no rules for that wedding tradition, and many couples now choose other ways to determine who goes first, particularly at LGBTQIA+ and nondenominational weddings.

What do you promise in a vow? ›

I promise to always put God first in our marriage.” ”I promise to be honest and faithful.” “I promise to always put our love first.” “I promise to choose adventure over tradition and to walk with you instead of alone.”

Do you have to say I do in wedding vows? ›

It's when the couple takes each other's hands and exchange the “I do's.” The officiant prompts the two lovebirds, and the bride and groom (or bride and bride, or groom and groom), respond with “I do,” or sometimes, an “I will.” It should go without saying, but you should plan this part of the wedding in advance with ...

Videos

1. Funny Wedding Moments - The Huddle
(Gordon Yurk - Video Guy)
2. Sweet & Funny Wedding Vows // Melissa & Lee // Atlanta Wedding (4K)
(Hampton Road Studios - Wedding Films & Videos)
3. He Has The Most Romantic and Funny Wedding Vows // Grand Hyatt Kauai Wedding
(Zest Kauai - Kauai Wedding Videographer)
4. WEDDING VOW that will make you Cry and Laugh | SHED A TEAR
(D' Manlapaz)
5. 10 Cute and Funny Wedding Photos That Will Make You Smile
(Vtring Videos)
6. Couple Shares HILARIOUS and Adorable Wedding Vows
(Emerald Media)

Top Articles

Latest Posts

Article information

Author: Trent Wehner

Last Updated: 01/04/2023

Views: 6408

Rating: 4.6 / 5 (56 voted)

Reviews: 95% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Trent Wehner

Birthday: 1993-03-14

Address: 872 Kevin Squares, New Codyville, AK 01785-0416

Phone: +18698800304764

Job: Senior Farming Developer

Hobby: Paintball, Calligraphy, Hunting, Flying disc, Lapidary, Rafting, Inline skating

Introduction: My name is Trent Wehner, I am a talented, brainy, zealous, light, funny, gleaming, attractive person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.