Funny Quotes for a Happy 70th Birthday, plus serious too (2022)

Funny Birthday Quotes for Septuagenarians

Yes, that does mean people in their 70s, not the 1970s. None of the humor is so highbrow that you need a boost, put away your platform shoes and on to the funny quotes.

Like a lot of fellows around here, I have a furniture problem. My chest has fallen into my drawers.
Billy Casper

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie

In youth we run into difficulties, in old age difficulties run into us.
Josh Billings

Funny Quotes for a Happy 70th Birthday, plus serious too (1)

I don’t know how you feel about old age, but in my case, I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
Phyllis Diller

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory… I forget the other two.
Red Skelton

It’s an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn’t had a birthday in seven years.
Robert Orben

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called hunting for your spectacles.
Edward Grey

A man over ninety is a great comfort to all his elderly neighbours: he is a picket – guard at the extreme outpost: and the young folks of sixty and seventy feel that the enemy must get by him before he can come near their camp.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to zip up your fly, and then you forget to unzip your fly.
Branch Rickey

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Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx

Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.
Helen Hayes

Old age is a special problem for me because I’ve never been able to shed the mental image I have of myself – a lad of about 19.
E. B. White

I delight in men over seventy. They always offer one the devotion of a lifetime.
Oscar Wilde

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
Maurice Chevalier

Wisdom doesn’t automatically come with old age. Nothing does – except wrinkles. It’s true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
Abigail Van Buren

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.
Voltaire

He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.
Elmer Pasta

Solemn Septuagenarians

Not really solemn but not geared towards laughs. These quotes are on what being seventy can be.

There is nothing more remarkable in the life of Socrates than that he found time in his old age to learn to dance and play on instruments, and thought it was time well spent.
Michel de Montaigne

Being seventy is not a sin.
Golda Meir

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It is not by the gray of the hair that one knows the age of the heart.
Edward Bulwer-Lytton

The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven’t changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don’t change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.
Doris Lessing

A human being would certainly not grow to be seventy or eighty years old if this longevity had no meaning for the species. The afternoon of human life must also have a significance of its own and cannot be merely a pitiful appendage to life’s morning.
Carl Jung

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible.
Judith Regan

The wise man does not grow old, but ripens.
Victor Hugo

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.
Aldous Huxley

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.
Leon Trotsky

You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
George Burns

To be happy, we must be true to nature and carry our age along with us.
William Hazlitt

Youth has no age.
Pablo Picasso

The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of their blood.
Logan Pearsall Smith

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But though I am an old man, I am but a young gardener.
Thomas Jefferson

Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
Franz Kafka

The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessing previously secured.
Marcus Tullius Cicero

To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

At fifteen I set my heart upon learning. At thirty, I had planted my feet firm upon the ground. At forty, I no longer suffered from perplexities. At fifty, I knew what were the biddings of Heaven. At sixty, I heard them with docile ear. At seventy, I could follow the dictates of my own heart; for what I desired no longer overstepped the boundaries of right.
Confucius

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age.
Victor Hugo

No wise man ever wished to be younger.
Jonathan Swift

As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that follows this rule may be old in body, but can never be so in mind.
Marcus Tullius Cicero

For age is opportunity no less Than youth itself, though in another dress, And as the evening twilight fades away The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
Gloria Pitzer

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Phyllis Diller

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When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age.
Victor Hugo

Funny Quotes for a Happy 70th Birthday, plus serious too (2)

A man growing old becomes a child again.
Sophocles

To be seventy years old is like climbing the Alps. You reach a snow-crowned summit, and see behind you the deep valley stretching miles and miles away, and before you other summits higher and whiter, which you may have strength to climb, or may not. Then you sit down and meditate and wonder which it will be.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Tom Stoppard

To my surprise, my 70s are nicer than my 60s and my 60s than my 50s, and I wouldn’t wish my teens and 20s on my enemies.
Lionel Blue

I’ll never make the mistake of being seventy again!
Casey Stengel

Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.
W Somerset Maugham

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.
Oscar Wilde

One Last LONG Quote

Long but great, read it whether you are ninety-two or not.

Between the years of ninety-two and a hundred and two, however, we shall be the ribald, useless, drunken, outcast person we have always wished to be. We shall have a long white beard and long white hair; we shall not walk at all, but recline in a wheel chair and bellow for alcoholic beverages; in the winter we shall sit before the fire with our feet in a bucket of hot water, a decanter of corn whiskey near at hand, and write ribald songs against organized society; strapped to one arm of our chair will be a forty-five calibre revolver, and we shall shoot out the lights when we want to go to sleep, instead of turning them off; when we want air we shall throw a silver candlestick through the front window and be damned to it; we shall address public meetings in a vein of jocund malice. We shall but we don’t wish to make any one envious of the good time that is coming to us We look forward to a disreputable, vigorous, unhonoured, and disorderly old age.
Don Marquis

Happy 70th Birthday to you and yours.
Ken

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FAQs

What do you write in a 70th birthday card funny? ›

Funny Birthday Messages

You look great for somebody who's turning 80! Now that you're in your 70s, it's time to grow up and stop acting like an irresponsible 60-year-old. Now that you're 70, you can never drive as fast as your age in miles per hour again, for the rest of your life.

What do you wish someone on their 70th birthday? ›

  • “Happiness, health and prosperity”
  • “Your youth is eternal”
  • “Your heart is full of wisdom”
  • “Refreshing just like in your twenties”
  • “The achievement of a life full of happiness”
  • “A wonderful 70th birthday for my love”

What to say to a woman turning 70? ›

I'm sending you all my love and wishing you the happiest of birthdays! Many happy returns to you as you turn 70 years of age today, my dear. May God bless you with many more years so that you can continue making the days of all those around you that little bit brighter. A truly lovely person is turning 70 today.

What is the 70th birthday called? ›

platinum jubilee: 70th anniversary.

What do you write in a 70th birthday card to a friend? ›

For the last 70 years, the world has been blessed with the presence of a truly incredible person, who I'm honoured to call a friend. As you celebrate your 70th birthday, I'd like to wish you a life that's full of more joy and laughter. May the world reward you for the greatness that you've offered us all.

Is 70 a milestone birthday? ›

Q: What ages are considered milestones? A: Milestone birthdays that are most commonly celebrated are Sweet 16, 21, 30, 40, 50 and 60. For some reason, after 60, it starts going in 5's... like 65, 70, 75 so on and so forth.

What is the best birthday message? ›

Short & Sweet Birthday Messages
  • “Hope all your birthday wishes come true!”
  • “It's your special day — get out there and celebrate!”
  • “Wishing you the biggest slice of happy today.”
  • “I hope your celebration gives you many happy memories!”
  • “Our age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying us!”
7 Jan 2022

What color represents 70th birthday? ›

Purplish Red is one of the most popular colors for 70th birthday decorations/fall birthday parties decor. Purplish Red 70 birthday party decorations/70th birthday decorations for women.

What does 70th birthday signify? ›

Benefits. Seventieth birthdays are significant with respect to Social Security benefits. Although individuals can begin to claim their Social Security benefits at age 62, there are advantages to waiting to claim benefits until reaching full-retirement age--between the ages of 65 to 67, depending on year of birth.

What is the flower for 70th birthday? ›

A 70th Birthday is a milestone to be remembered, and this living gift is the perfect way to do that.
...
About Happy Birthday Rose.
ColourDeep Yellow with Pink Shades
FragranceModerately Scented
Plant TypeHybrid Tea Rose
2 more rows
10 Jan 2022

What do you write in a 70th birthday card for a female friend? ›

#1 To a very special, wonderful woman on her 70th birthday. You're more than a friend. You're a light and a joy in this world. #2 To my dear friend on your 70th birthday.

How do you deal with turning 70? ›

You can't turn back the clock, but there are a lot of ways to stay healthy in your 70s. Diet and exercise are important. Monitor your health, especially when it comes to watching for problems like cancer and heart disease. Stay active socially, and challenge yourself mentally -- they will help fight mental decline.

What is a good birthday wish for a friend? ›

Short and Sweet Birthday Wishes for Best Friend
  • Happy birthday to my favorite person.
  • My life would suck without you.
  • Today is all about you.
  • Wishing you a day that's as special and awesome as you are!
  • Happy birthday! ...
  • Life is more fun with you by my side.
  • Happy birthday to my totally amazing, irreplaceable bestie.
20 Apr 2022

How do you wish an uncle happy 70th birthday? ›

Happy 70th birthday, dear Uncle! On your big special day I wish that you are happy and in good health. Thank you for giving us all the life lessons and sharing your experiences. Wishing a remarkable 70th birthday, dear uncle!

What can I write in my dads 70th birthday card? ›

Dear Dad, you rightly deserve complete love and happiness that this divinely gifted moment brings in your life. Wishing you a lovely and a healthy 70th birthday! Father, may you have total gladness, joy, and serenity flowing in your heart as you mark this incredibly spectacular milestone on earth.

Is 70th birthday platinum? ›

A platinum jubilee is a celebration held to mark an anniversary. Among monarchies, it usually refers to a 70th anniversary.

What Stone represents 70th birthday? ›

Birthstones and symbolic stones

For 70 years, the sapphire is a traditional gemstone for a gift. Reaching the age of 70 is a real milestone in someone's life; and it's the perfect time to give them a special piece of jewelry.

What is platinum birthday? ›

75 years of life is a milestone birthday, often referred to as the platinum celebration. This is a birthday that family and friends celebrate with love, as well as traditional gifts. The gift for this birthday has to be special, because the moment itself is special.

How do you say happy birthday heartfelt? ›

Sentimental Birthday Quotes
  1. Showing my love with a special message. ...
  2. My love for you is unique and meaningful. ...
  3. A very special happy birthday to you. ...
  4. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. ...
  5. I appreciate you and everything that you do. ...
  6. You enrich my life to no end. ...
  7. Today's your special day, my friend.

What is a unique way to wish a friend? ›

Wishing you many more years of good health and prosperity. Thank you for living your life in a way that makes every day worth celebrating. Happiest of birthdays! Even though celebrations might look a bit different this year, you're always the life of the party—over Zoom, and all.

Is there a Colour for 70? ›

60th Anniversary: Diamond White. 65th Anniversary: Sky Blue. 70th Anniversary: Platinum.

What is 70th birthday called in Sanskrit? ›

They are: Sashtiabthapoorthi – 60th birthday. Bheemaratha Shanthi – 70th birthday. Sathabhishekam – 80th birthday.

What's the Colour of platinum? ›

A very heavy, precious, silver-white metal, platinum is soft and ductile and has a high melting point and good resistance to corrosion and chemical attack.

How do you say happy birthday in simple words? ›

Other Ways to Say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
  1. Have a fabulous birthday!
  2. May all your wishes come true!
  3. Many happy returns of the day!
  4. Many more happy returns!
  5. I wish you a wonderful birthday!
  6. Have a great one!
  7. Have a good one!
  8. I hope you have a fantastic day and a fantastic year to come.
23 Apr 2021

What do you write in a card to someone special? ›

Give a Sweet Compliment
  • You're one of the kindest people I've ever been lucky enough to know.
  • You're a great listener.
  • You'd do anything for the people you care about.
  • Your strength inspires me.
  • You have the best laugh.
  • You'll always be one of my very favorite people.
16 Jul 2018

What is eightieth birthday called? ›

You know the pattern by now … an octogenarian is someone in their 80s (80 to 89 years old), or someone who is 80 years old. Another less common word for octogenarian is octogenary.

Why is it called Sathabhishekam? ›

Sathabhishekam is Tamil ( or South Indian) word for “sahastra chandrashanam”. It was being performed in brahmin families usually all over India earlier. Still this function is performed in South India. Let us calculate at what age a person complete sahastra Chandradarshanam in his life inclusive of “Adhik Masa”.

Is there a rose called 70th birthday? ›

The happy 70th birthday rose looks wonderful in a border full of shiny garden plants. But not everyone has the privilege to have a large garden. But no worries, the Floribunda bush rose is also suitable for flower pots on the balcony or patio. The roots don't root that deep.

What does a yellow rose mean? ›

Yellow Roses: Friendship and Joy

Yellow roses symbolize friendship and joy. They are also used to represent those feelings that are associated with friendship such as warmth, delight, gladness, caring, and affection. These blooms were once used to communicate jealousy, during the Victorian era.

Is there a happy birthday rose? ›

'Happy Birthday' _ 'Happy Birthday' is an almost thornless Miniature patio rose. It is a small, semi-evergreen shrub with dark-green leaves and clusters of golden yellow flowers in summer and autumn.

What is the best birthday message? ›

Short & Sweet Birthday Messages
  • “Hope all your birthday wishes come true!”
  • “It's your special day — get out there and celebrate!”
  • “Wishing you the biggest slice of happy today.”
  • “I hope your celebration gives you many happy memories!”
  • “Our age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying us!”
7 Jan 2022

How do you wish an uncle happy 70th birthday? ›

Happy 70th birthday, dear Uncle! On your big special day I wish that you are happy and in good health. Thank you for giving us all the life lessons and sharing your experiences. Wishing a remarkable 70th birthday, dear uncle!

What can I write in my dads 70th birthday card? ›

Dear Dad, you rightly deserve complete love and happiness that this divinely gifted moment brings in your life. Wishing you a lovely and a healthy 70th birthday! Father, may you have total gladness, joy, and serenity flowing in your heart as you mark this incredibly spectacular milestone on earth.

What is a fun way to say happy birthday? ›

Here are some wishes to make your friends laugh on their birthday. You don't look a day over 50! Enjoy your old age 😀 Happy Birthday, Buddy! On your birthday, make cakes and not war, I wish you a Happy Birthday!

What is a unique way to wish someone a happy birthday? ›

How to Say Happy Birthday 50 Different Ways
  1. You sustained one more year. ...
  2. I wish you a happier birthday than anyone else has wished you.
  3. Didn't we just celebrate this like a year ago?
  4. You sustained one more year. ...
  5. Don't count the candles, enjoy your day.
  6. Happy you day.
  7. Age is just a number.
  8. I'm glad you were born.
20 Sept 2022

What is a unique way to say happy birthday? ›

New and Different Ways to Say “Happy Birthday” A million magic wishes to you! A remarkable year to come! All the best to you and the years to come.

How say happy birthday in short words? ›

40 Ways to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
  • Have a fabulous birthday!
  • May all your wishes come true!
  • Many happy returns of the day!
  • Many more happy returns!
  • I wish you a wonderful birthday!
  • Have a great one!
  • Have a good one!
  • I hope you have a fantastic day and a fantastic year to come.
23 Apr 2021

How do you say happy birthday heartfelt? ›

Sentimental Birthday Quotes
  1. Showing my love with a special message. ...
  2. My love for you is unique and meaningful. ...
  3. A very special happy birthday to you. ...
  4. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. ...
  5. I appreciate you and everything that you do. ...
  6. You enrich my life to no end. ...
  7. Today's your special day, my friend.

What do you write in a card to someone special? ›

Give a Sweet Compliment
  • You're one of the kindest people I've ever been lucky enough to know.
  • You're a great listener.
  • You'd do anything for the people you care about.
  • Your strength inspires me.
  • You have the best laugh.
  • You'll always be one of my very favorite people.
16 Jul 2018

What should I text my uncle for his birthday? ›

Happy birthday, uncle! I wish you lovely things, that your dreams may come true and that you'll always find reasons to smile with joy. I feel proud to have you as an uncle, and very lucky to have your presence in my life. You are a kind person, a strong man and the best of uncles.

Is there a color for 70th birthday? ›

60th Anniversary: Diamond White. 65th Anniversary: Sky Blue. 70th Anniversary: Platinum.

What should I write in my dads card? ›

Examples
  1. “I love our family, and I love you.”
  2. “Happy Father's Day to the man of my heart, the father of our children, the love of my life.”
  3. “Thank you for all the ways you go above and beyond every day for our family. ...
  4. “I'm so grateful to be sharing life, love and parenthood with a wonderful man like you.”

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