Funny Quotes and Lines from Movies (2022)

Funny Movie Quotes & Funny Life Quotes

Life is full of funny quotes. You hear them every day, in any situation, from all sorts of people. Funny quotes are just humorous observations about life in general. You might hear a funny quote from a friend or you could be hanging out watching television and hear a funny movie quote. After all, everyone needs to be able to laugh, especially at life. Here is a list of several funny life quotes to give you a chuckle and, just maybe, to help you see the world in a more humorous light.

“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” ~ Bob
Hope

“A lot of fellows these days have a B.A., M.D., or a Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” ~ Fats Domino

Funny Quotes and Lines from Movies (1)“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.” ~ Natalie Wood

“In my house, I am the boss. My wife is the decision maker.” ~ Woody Allen

“I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.” ~ Albert Einstein

“I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?” ~ Robert De Niro in Meet the Parents

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” ~ Dean Martin

“If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of Spam.” ~ Johnny Carson

“Some people ask the secret to our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays and I go on Fridays.” ~ Henry Youngman

“I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Ninety percent of the game is half mental.” ~ Jim Wohford

“I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.” ~ Author Unknown

(Video) Top 10 Funniest Movie Quotes of All Time

“Thanks, you don’t look so hot yourself.” – after being told he looked cool.
~ Yogi Berra

“I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!” ~ Yogi Berra

“I am not a real movie star. I’ve still go the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.” ~ Will Rogers

“A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.” ~ Bill Cosby

“Life is like a B-movie script. It is that corny. If I had my life story offered to me to film, I’d turn it down.” ~ Kirk Douglas.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ~ Albert Einstein

“Why should people pay to go out and see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for free?” ~ Samuel Goldwyn

“Don’t tell my mother I’m in politics. She thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse.” ~ Author Unknown

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” ~ Qscar Wilde

“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” ~ Groucho Marx

“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.” ~ Author Unknown

“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.” ~ Alfred Hitchcock

“Hard work never killed anyone but why take a chance?” ~ Edgar Bergen

(Video) Funniest Comedy Movie Quotes | Prime Video

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” ~ Josh Billings

“There is no reason to become alarmed and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of the flight. By the way, is there anyone who knows how to fly a plane?” ~ from the movie Airplane

“A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.” ~ Erma Bombeck

“I am so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.” ~ Dudley Moore from the movie Arthur

“A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem. It is generally only employed by small children and large nations.” ~ David Friedman

“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.” ~ Groucho Marx

“I don’t know what to say so I’ll just say what’s in my heart…badoom, badoom, badoom.” ~ Mel Brooks

“I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I am the President of the United States and I am not going to eat any more broccoli.” ~ George Bush

“If you love your job, you haven’t worked a day in your life.” ~ Tommy Lasorda

“A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.” ~ Bob Hope

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I am halfway through my fish burger and I realize, I could be eating a slow learner.” ~ Lyndon B. Johnson

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” ~ Mel Brooks

(Video) 100 Greatest Movie Quotes of All Time

“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers”. ~ H. L. Mencken

“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.” ~ Steven Wright

“My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.” From the movie Crimes and Misdemeanors

“Love is the answer. But while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” ~ Woody Allen

“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.” ~ Yogi Berra

“Personally, I don’t think there is intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different than this one?” ~Bob Monkhouse

“Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.”
~ Mark Twain

“If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything.” ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Airplanes may kill you, but they ain’t likely to hurt you.” ~ Satchel Paige

“Lawyers should not marry other lawyers. This is called inbreeding from which comes idiot children and other lawyers.” ~ David Wayne

“I am just trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” ~ Author Unknown

“Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.” ~ Groucho Marx

“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” ~ Casey Stengel

(Video) 100 ELVIS MOVIE QUOTES

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.” ~ Rich Cook

“I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.” ~ Emo Plillips

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
~ Charles M. Schulz

“The trouble with the rat race is even if you win you are still a rat.” ~ Lily Tomlin

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the Americas Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon’.” ~ Chris Rock

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.” ~ Bill Cosby

“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” ~ Hedy Lamarr

“A man does not know what happiness is until he is married. By then it is too late.” ~ Frank Sinatra

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.” ~ Groucho Marx

“As I get older, I just prefer to knit.” ~ Tracey Ullman

“Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.” ~ Author Unknown

“Marital freedom is the liberty that allows a man to do exactly as his wife pleases.” ~ Author Unknown

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” ~ Phyllis Diller

(Video) Best Inspirational Famous Movie Quotes

“It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility.” ~ Author Unknown

“It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt, and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle fell off. Now I am afraid to go to the bathroom.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield

These funny quotes are just a few from a limitless collection written by authors and celebrities throughout the years. Most of the funny life quotes listed above provide a humorous insight to some of life’s questions. If you want to find an answer to a question, you can always sit down and watch a movie to find new funny movie quotes. No matter how hard life may get, you will always be able to find funny life quotes to help cheer up your day.

FAQs

What is the most famous line from a movie? ›

A jury consisting of 1,500 film artists, critics, and historians selected "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn", spoken by Clark Gable as Rhett Butler in the 1939 American Civil War epic Gone with the Wind, as the most memorable American movie quotation of all time.

What is Oneliner movie? ›

A One Liner Schedule or One-Line Schedule is a filmmaking term for a shorter version of the shooting schedule. This type of schedule usually omits information about cast and location.

What is Disney's famous quote? ›

Walt Disney Quotes

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." "If you can visualize it, if you can dream it, there's some way to do it." "Why worry? If you've done the very best you can, then worrying won't make it any better."

What is the most famous line of all time? ›

Famous Movie Quotes
  • “ May the Force be with you.” - Star Wars, 1977.
  • “ There's no place like home.” - The Wizard of Oz, 1939.
  • “ I'm the king of the world!” - ...
  • “ Carpe diem. ...
  • “ Elementary, my dear Watson.” - ...
  • “ It's alive! ...
  • “ My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. ...
  • “ I'll be back.” -
21 Sept 2018

Who are you quote movie? ›

Same Line From Different Films - Who Are You? - YouTube

How do you write one line? ›

How to write a strong one-line biography (with examples!)
  1. Write in 3rd person.
  2. Highlight your role/profession.
  3. Brag a bit.
  4. Keep it short.
  5. Include a call to action.
4 May 2022

What is Ferris Bueller's famous quote? ›

If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller

Ferris Bueller
Expression used to convey waiting for a response when there is none. Does anyone want to go to the movies? Bueller? Bueller?
https://en.wiktionary.org › wiki › Bueller
.

What did Peter Pan always say? ›

Peter Pan

Peter Pan
A free-spirited and mischievous young boy who can fly and never grows up, Peter Pan spends his never-ending childhood having adventures on the mythical island of Neverland as the leader of the Lost Boys, interacting with fairies, pirates, mermaids, Native Americans, and occasionally ordinary children from the world ...
https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Peter_Pan
always says, "Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting".

What are some thug quotes? ›

Thug Quotes
  • You can call it what you want: bad attitude, immature. ...
  • I'm a corporate thug. ...
  • I got different moods. ...
  • My momma didn't clean up floors so I could be a thug... so I could wear my pants down. ...
  • I'm black, so I should be able to play a 'thug? ...
  • I can play a doctor, and I can play a thug.

What is Einstein's most famous quote? ›

Here's my translation of some of his famous thoughts.
  1. "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." ...
  2. “The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." ...
  3. "I have no special talent. ...
  4. "The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once."
13 May 2022

What is a hard life quote? ›

It's a hard life if you don't weaken.” “The harder life is for a man when he is young, the easier it will be in the future.” “try to don't be killed and pray for healing, but be a killer and pray for forgiveness.”

What is the most famous line in Harry Potter? ›

Explanation: Even though it's just one word, “always” is largely considered one of the most iconic lines from the Potter series.

Do you feel lucky quotes? ›

You're thinking "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Now to tell you the truth, I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being this is a . 44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

What is the famous line from Shawshank Redemption? ›

Andy Dufresne: “There are places in the world that aren't made out of stone. There's something inside they can't touch.”

Can a paragraph be 2 sentences? ›

A really good paragraph does not have to be long, you can have paragraphs with only one or two sentences as long as they are interesting and written in a style which the reader will like.

How do you write a short sentence? ›

Short sentences communicate more powerfully than long sentences, and short sentences are usually easier to understand than long sentences.
  1. Focus each sentence on a single idea.
  2. Convert some long sentences to lists.
  3. Eliminate or reduce extraneous words.
  4. Reduce subordinate clauses (optional)
  5. Distinguish that from which.

What are some 3 word quotes? ›

110 Memorable Three-Word Quotes That Are Short And Sweet
  • “I'll be there.”
  • “I love you.”
  • “Maybe you're right.”
  • “I trust you.”
  • “Go for it.”
  • “Got your back.”
  • “How are you?”
  • “I want you.”
21 Mar 2022

What are single line quotes? ›

Single quotation marks are used to mark a quote within a quote or a direct quote in a news story headline. Periods always go inside all quotation marks. A question mark is only placed inside of single quotation marks if the quote within a quote is a question. The same is true for exclamation marks.

What are the 5 positive quotes? ›

Short motivational quotes
  • “Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.” — ...
  • “Opportunities don't happen, you create them.” — ...
  • “Love your family, work super hard, live your passion.” — ...
  • “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” —
10 Jun 2022

What is Maya Angelou most famous quote? ›

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

What is Eleanor Roosevelt famous quote? ›

Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual; you have an obligation to be one. You cannot make any useful contribution in life unless you do this.

What is one of Dolly Parton's famous quotes? ›

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!” “If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.” “You'll never do a whole lot unless you're brave enough to try.” “I'm not going to limit myself just because people won't accept the fact that I can do something else.”

What does Ferris Bueller say at the end of the movie? ›

Toward the end of the movie, the car is accidentally destroyed after Cameron finally begins to let out some of his anger with his father. It's in this scene where the true meaning of the Ferrari is established: it represents Cameron's father and his misplaced attention.

What is the quote Life moves pretty fast? ›

“Life Moves Pretty Fast. If You Don't Stop And Look Around Once In A While, You Could Miss It.” “Ferris Bueller

Ferris Bueller
Expression used to convey waiting for a response when there is none. Does anyone want to go to the movies? Bueller? Bueller?
https://en.wiktionary.org › wiki › Bueller
, You're My Hero!”

What did Ferris Bueller say about the Ferrari? ›

Cameron: "The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than 100 were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion." Ferris: "It is his fault he didn't lock the garage."

What is Pennywise's catchphrase? ›

Pennywise : BEEP BEEP Richie! They ALL float down here. When you're down here with us, you'll float too!

What is the most famous line in Harry Potter? ›

Explanation: Even though it's just one word, “always” is largely considered one of the most iconic lines from the Potter series.

What are some cool catchphrases? ›

Famous catchy slogan examples
  • De Beers “A Diamond is Forever.” ...
  • Dunkin Donuts “America Runs on Dunkin.” ...
  • Mastercard “There Are Some Things Money Can't Buy. ...
  • KFC “Finger-Lickin' Good.” ...
  • Bounty “Quicker Picker Upper.” ...
  • Disney “Happiest Place on Earth.” ...
  • Maybelline “Maybe She's Born With It… Maybe It's Maybelline.”
31 Mar 2021

What are some thug quotes? ›

Thug Quotes
  • You can call it what you want: bad attitude, immature. ...
  • I'm a corporate thug. ...
  • I got different moods. ...
  • My momma didn't clean up floors so I could be a thug... so I could wear my pants down. ...
  • I'm black, so I should be able to play a 'thug? ...
  • I can play a doctor, and I can play a thug.

What did Pennywise say before he fell? ›

Finally, Pennywise is beaten into submission. He scurries away, utters the word "fear," and partially disintegrates before falling into the void. It's a powerful defeat of a powerful monster, and it's satisfaction enough were IT to remain a single film.

What does Pennywise say in sewer? ›

Georgie

Georgie
George Elmer Denbrough is a fictional character created by Stephen King from his 1986 horror novel It. Georgie is the younger brother of Bill Denbrough, and falls prey to Pennywise the Dancing Clown. He is used by Pennywise to taunt Bill throughout the novel.
https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Georgie_Denbrough
: What are you doing in the sewer? Pennywise
Pennywise
The story follows the experiences of seven children as they are terrorized by an evil entity that exploits the fears of its victims to disguise itself while hunting its prey. "It" primarily appears in the form of Pennywise the Dancing Clown to attract its preferred prey of young children.
https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › It_(novel)
: A storm blew me away. Blew the whole circus away.

Why does Pennywise say float? ›

The simplest and most obvious interpretation is that all the talk of floating is a reference to the fact that Pennywise

Pennywise
The story follows the experiences of seven children as they are terrorized by an evil entity that exploits the fears of its victims to disguise itself while hunting its prey. "It" primarily appears in the form of Pennywise the Dancing Clown to attract its preferred prey of young children.
https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › It_(novel)
(aka the titular "It") murders his victims and drags them down to the town's sewer system where he dwells, which is full of water. And what do dead bodies do in water? That's right — they float.

What Dumbledore's most famous line? ›

"We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided." One of Dumbledore's most famous quotes comes from chapter 37 of The Goblet of Fire. "Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it," Dumbledore says in The Goblet of Fire.

What is Harry Styles most famous quote? ›

"A dream is only a dream, until you decide to make it real." - Harry Styles.

What is the last line of Harry Potter? ›

Last line of Harry Potter: “The scar had not pained Harry for 19 years. All was well.” There's a lot of controversy about this—the last line of Harry Potter—the epilogue that ends the Harry Potter series.

What is a movie catchphrase? ›

For the purposes of this article, we've defined a catchphrase as a short piece of dialogue that has become indelibly associated with a particular movie, character, or actor and exists in the public zeitgeist so that an average non-movie fanatic would know the phrase.

What are common phrases? ›

Common English idioms & expressions
IdiomMeaning
Don't put all your eggs in one basketWhat you're doing is too risky
Every cloud has a silver liningGood things come after bad things
Get a taste of your own medicineGet treated the way you've been treating others (negative)
Give someone the cold shoulderIgnore someone
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